People always talk about 6-year-olds working in coal mines like that was a bad thing. But those tunnels were narrow; a grown-up would have gotten stuck. That’s called problem-solving, y’all. Did these bleeding-heart “children’s advocates” want everyone to be cold? Didn’t they see Jim Carrey’s “A Christmas Carol”? Shit got chilly back then. Coal was [...]
Starting elementary school is an alarming, unrelenting descent into hell for many kids. They go from the loving cocoon of parental affection to a place where breaking a crayon could get a bitch cut (probably with safety scissors, but still…) Your kid will be bulletproof at school, however, if he’s seen, heard and experienced it [...]
No biting. No eye-gouging. No elbows or blows to the head when the opponent is on the ground. These are the only rules to America’s fastest growing children’s sport – Kids Mixed Martial Arts. This rising activity teaches children important life lessons from leadership and self-defense to emergency first aid. And yet prissy PTA moms claim MMA is human cockfighting.
Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Cyrus. You have succeeded in parenting not one, but two of the nation’s sluttiest celebrity children. Sure, ol’ Miley left some grandiose slut-tastic shoes to fill, but nine-year-old Noah Cyrus can now claim title of Most Promiscuously Dressed Quasi-Famous Child Star At A Public Event. This little number was introduced at [...]
Ah, beach-going: the waves, the sand, the bikini-clad bombshells, the guys with washboard abs, the little kids doing beer bong hits. Yes, you heard me right. But you know what, this is just a natural progression for young moms and dads who never kicked their college drinking habits. Don’t judge them. They’re keeping their son [...]
A recent report says the worst cereals for kids are the ones most heavily marketed. That’s just more nonsense from the parent puss club. Seriously, what does ‘worst’ really mean? These cereals give kids enough energy to dash to the bus stop, but are scientifically formulated to help crash their energy when they’re in the [...]