“Friday” Turns Teeny-Bopper Dreams into a National Joke

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011. Filed under: Parenting Advice

I have just experienced the most mind-numbingly painful moments of my life. No, I did not experience some odd medical phenomena that turned me into a human vegetable. But I did just listen to music that had the same affect. I was on the verge of jamming a pencil into my eardrums to stop such horrid sounds from being able to penetrate my mind when it at last, the terrible noises ended.

Do you remember that infamous music video on YouTube called “Friday” by Rebecca Black? Don’t bother searching for it because it was yanked from the site (probably because it shattered the record for most dislikes and she became a national joke). It was a horrendously bad song with the worst lyrics ever written in the history of humankind. Seriously, listening to a 20 babies cry at the top of their lungs would have better qualified as music compared to this steaming pile of crap.

Well, it turns out that this song and music video were produced by an actual record label and there are over a dozen more teeny-bopper, no-talent stains on the face of humanity “artists” along with Ms. Black. I will not link to the record label or any of their music videos because I believe such an action to be equivalent to a slap in the face of all that is decent in the world. But if you wish to look this up, the label is called Ark Music Factory.

This record label is the worst thing to ever happen to America. Well, almost; I think the order goes slavery, 9/11, AIDS, and then Ark Music Factory.

Why do these songs exist? You could blame the pre-teen demographic for buying this crap. But, as we all know, children often don’t know any better. It’s up to parents to make sure the music their kids listen to is quality and not complete shit. More importantly, you shouldn’t let your son or daughter go think they can become pop stars, only to become a national laughing stock because they have no talent.

Since this is a parenting advice blog, here’s my advice: if you want your kid to become some sort of music prodigy, make sure they have at least an ounce of talent and experience music education from a young age. Or take them to a quality concert or music festival to set their sights high and inspire them.

As for the kids at Ark Music Factory, I sincerely hope they don’t have to grow up having to change their name and go into hiding due to national embarrassment. But judging by the number views and dislikes these music videos have, I wouldn’t bet against it.

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