Parenting Fail: Was That Baby Oil or Sun Screen?
We know January 1 doesn’t evoke the thoughts of beaches and blazing sun in most people, but pay attention! Make it your #1 New Year resolution that you will not forget to bring the 30 block on that mid-winter tropical vacation you’re planning. Remember that tiny tots don’t need to show off their midriff with [...]
The Sampa Family New Year’s Party Drink Guide
New Year’s parties are great. They are fun and festive. They are boozy. And they mark the end of interminable Family Holiday Time. I’ll drink to that. And so can you. Here are some of our favorite holiday bevies that will most certainly guarantee you will think you are singing Auld Lang Syne in perfect [...]
Why Isn’t Santa Dead?
Kids ask the darndest things. Sometimes adults do too. These days, while overwhelmed by the merriment of the holiday season, the hustle, the bustle and the crazy of family, your mind will inevitably start to wander. Perhaps yours will wander towards death. And since Santa Claus will soon be on his way, any sane person [...]
Four Reasons momAgenda = Marvelous
I am hopelessly devoted to the momAgenda day planner. As a mom who repeatedly batters my day planners (drop in puddle, leave on stove…), I’ve recently turned my back on those clearance-bin discount day planners and finally found something that stands up to my constant abuse and random scribblings – witness the damage endured without [...]
Sampa Family Holiday Survival Guide
Oh god. It’s here. The holidays. An alcohol fueled slow burn of torment, backhanded compliments, the unbearable, the senile and guh, togetherness. In a world where you’d rather poke out your eyes with a knitting needle than go over to Aunt whatevers for the day, how do survive? Fear not, Sampa is here to help [...]
Baby, It’s Cold Outside = Worst Christmas Pageant Theme Ever
I was watching Elf the other day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an awesome holiday family movie that doesn’t involve any R-rated controversy (well, not that I know of). But then there’s that part in the movie where Zooey Deschanel and Will Ferrell sing a duet of Baby, It’s Cold Outside. I’ve always thought the [...]
How to Get Your Own Family Reality TV Show
The perks in having a part in the reality television institution are unparalleled. The money is huge. The sponsors (a lifetime supply of diapers!) are a given. Your name will be forever attached to a quirky, alliterated catch-phrase. In a pinch, your new publicist can watch the kids. And say goodbye to home videos, because [...]
Dog Toy or Teether: Your Kid Won’t Know the Difference
Sick of buying expensive baby toys that don’t keep your kid’s attention? Trying to resist the migration of Tinkerbell and her merry little fairies from invading your house with every Disney-loathing gene in your body? What if I told you there was an untapped resource of less expensive, better-made toys specifically designed to be choke [...]
How to Avoid an H1N1 Holiday Season
This just in: Santa has Swine Flu. Is this really a surprise? He’s at least 70 years old, germ-ridden kids sit on his lap all day long, and he lives in -40 temperatures. If anyone needs an H1N1 vaccine, it’s Santa. And you. Yes you. If you don’t want to spend the holiday season curled [...]
Parenting Fail: That’s Not a Kid-Friendly Doll
A picture is worth a thousand words and it’s even nicer when the words you’re looking for to describe it are photoshopped right in for you. EBaum’s World posted this beauty of a parent fail. At least the kid isn’t old enough to know what he’s um, handling.