The Worst Free Family Websites We’ve Ever Seen, Ever

So you want to create a free family website that a) is easy-to-use and b) makes your kids look smarter, prettier, and better adjusted than your neighbor’s snot-nosed preschooler who can’t even tie his own shoes. That’s what family blogs are all about right? Showing off your kids and their talents? But a free family website can also make your family look like a bunch of inbred weirdos. Here are four hilariously bad free family websites that will make you and your kids look dumb and/or crazy.

Hilariously Bad Free Family Websites

FamilyLobby.com
FamilyLobby starts out on the right foot: “the fun gathering place for families!” Here you can create a free, safe, easy-to-use website for your family. Couple that with some fast and fun parenting articles, tips to get your family together for a stellar reunion, and brainstorms for car-games to play on long road trips and BAM! You’ve got yourself a family-of-four, mini-van, golden retriever approved All-American free family website. Maybe not ideally suited for a Sampa, but I am sure it is perfectly adequate for some families out there.

But wait! What’s this?

A Colonoscopy Forum Posting? Of course. Because a family website shouldn’t be limited to just your actual family. It should also include the strangers you meet in colonoscopy forums. Who become your family.

And, as bonus entertainment, the Fun Photo Creator. If you suck at photography, spice up your family pics with a whole array of cartoon embellishments! The example shown? A seriously pissy tween, who (in case she isn’t T.O.’ed enough) has been given a jauntily skewed baseball hat, a hovering glass (half-full!) of either apple juice or scotch, and an old-fashioned microphone on a stool. And some floating stars. Just because.

If your pictures don’t speak a thousand words (don’t worry, the Sampa family understands), try adding in speech bubbles and captions. FamilyLobby’s sample is cut off, but use your imagination.

Nexo.com
Nexo offers all you could want or need in a family website. Photo sharing. Message boards. Online chatting. It’s all at your fingertips. As long as you’re white.

This, as is portrayed in every Nexo promotional picture, seems to be a prerequisite. There could be a hint of someone not quite white in the Extended Family On the Rocks Photo. But more likely she is just overly-tanned and therefore does not count.

Comehome.net
Comehome.net is a mega-site. There are just so many features provided – and all for free! It does not matter that no one will ever use 30% of the services. They exist and therefore hats off to Comehome for their ingenuity and family-focused web page savvy.

The genealogy feature allows you to view how everyone in your free family website is related. In case you were previously unaware of your relationship with the person you invited into your secure family website.

The Round Table tab means saying au revoir to all those awkward, serious family discussions. Here, you can post your grievances – Hey kids! Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce! – and your family members can then “reply at their convenience.” Non-verbal communication is the way of the future!

You can inventory your belongings at Comehome.net! The entire family can list their valuable heirlooms and and sentimental treasures along with where they are kept. This will come in handy if you are ever the victim of a house fire and want to reminisce over just how much you lost. Or if your drug-addicted teenager is looking for something to pawn for a quick dime.

Famoodle.com
Famoodle.com has the support of enough big-name corporations that we can assume it’s legit.

But seriously… Famoodle?
Is that a joke?