5 WTF Were They Thinking Toys No. 1 – Hang Ten Mini Hammock
Blare the trumpets. Sound the cow bells. Crank up the synthesizer! We are down to the king of all the WTF toys in our series. If you’re wondering why I’m so amped, I’ve been listening to the ‘final countdown’ while chugging down some Costco-sized portions of red bull. I highly recommend you play the video [...]
5 WTF Were They Thinking Toys No. 2 – JARTS
It’s that time again and we’re closing in on the last two WTF toys in our WTF Were They Thinking Toy series. I almost get teary-eyed thinking about how far we’ve come. Let’s see. There was the Cabbage Patch Doll with the mastication issues, the Clacker toy with sadist tendencies, and the closet pyromaniac aka [...]
5 WTF Were They Thinking Toys No. 3 – Easy Bake Oven
Here we are, at the hump of the WTF Were They Thinking toy series. And who doesn’t love humps? I know I do, especially Fergie’s humps. If you didn’t get the chance to read up on the Cabbage Patch doll that thinks it’s at an all-you-can-eat hair buffet or the wonderful how-can-I-not confuse-this-for-a-weapon clacker toy, [...]
5 WTF Were They Thinking Toys No. 4 – Clackers
I hope you had the chance to grab your Snack Time Cabbage Patch Doll over the weekend so your kids could enj… oh wait, crap, those things will kill your child. I almost forgot the point of the WTF Were They Thinking Series series: to point out the absolutely worst toys ever made ever The [...]
5 WTF Were They Thinking Toys No. 5 – The Cabbage Patch Doll
Ah… childhood memories. Back in the day, you’d enjoy things like playing Candyland in your friend’s basement, sharing Otter Pops on a hot summer day or even enjoying your small Totino’s pizza while watching The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Everything was fun and care-free. Toys you had would come to life as you’d use your [...]
Peekaru: The Freakiest Baby Carrier You’ll Ever See
Ok. I know what you’re thinking. What is that and where can I get two!?! We’ll get to that in a minute. This, my friend, is THE FUTURE of baby carriers. This is known as the Peekaru (cue the “awws”). It’s basically a polar fleece pouch that’s attached to a vest. Functional AND fashionable, I [...]
How to Turn Your Kid into a Major BadAss
A little parenting advice from the mother of a bad ass Sampa kid: You don’t want to be the mom of a sniffling, can’t-stand-up-for-himself toddler. First – it’s heartbreaking to watch your kid come home with LOSER post-its on his back and tears in his eyes. Second, if he has a packed social calendar, it [...]
International Pillow Fight Day – Choose Your Weapon
April boasts all sorts of fantastic, Sampa Family favorite holidays.
April Fools – the perfect excuse to sneak over-the-counter AZO into Sampa Dad’s daily vitamin regime and watch his reaction when he sees his urine is the color of a sunset.
Easter – chocolate bunnies. Done and done.
But perhaps our most favorite of favorites is International Pillow Fight Day — and it’s coming up soon!
Infantino Baby Slings Suck! A Recall Rant
Dear Infantino Baby Slings , You know babies – those delicate, tiny, just-out-of-the-womb creatures that do nothing but sleep, poop, and coo? Turns out they’re pretty delicate. So, you might want to – I don’t know – test your stupid baby slings a million and one times before distributing them to Target, Wal-Mart, and Burlington [...]
PowerWheels, More Safe than a Toyota?
Don’t deny it: at some point in your life you pictured yourself zipping along in a PowerWheels Barbie Corvette or jumping ramps in a pint-sized Hummer. We all wanted PowerWheels and only a few of us (think: the spoiled kid on the block) had them. And those kids wouldn’t let us ride shotgun anyway. With [...]