Parenting Fail of the Week: What Is This Costume Even Supposed To Be (Other Than Skanky)?
Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Cyrus. You have succeeded in parenting not one, but two of the nation’s sluttiest celebrity children. Sure, ol’ Miley left some grandiose slut-tastic shoes to fill, but nine-year-old Noah Cyrus can now claim title of Most Promiscuously Dressed Quasi-Famous Child Star At A Public Event.
This little number was introduced at the [...]
The Soccer Mom’s Guide to Fighting like a Hockey Mom
Ah soccer moms, the gentle moms of the sporting moms world. Clad in velour or terry cloth jogging suits a visor or hat, manicures and sensible shoes, they dot the sidelines of any soccer game, having arrived in an SUV of course. But what happens when things get ugly on the sidelines? Nevermind what [...]
Caught in the Act? 6 Things Never to Say
The candles are lit. The satin sheets are out. Ok, scratch that. You’re a parent. The candles burned out when the baby popped out.
You have 15 minutes to get busy. And then, Little Johnny (bless his heart) bursts through the door during an exceptionally primal scene. Johnny screams like he’s been shot. You both jump [...]
Parenting Fail of the Week: Beer Bong Boy
Ah, beach-going: the waves, the sand, the bikini-clad bombshells, the guys with washboard abs, the little kids doing beer bong hits.
Yes, you heard me right. But you know what, this is just a natural progression for young moms and dads who never kicked their college drinking habits.
Don’t judge them. They’re keeping their son hydrated in [...]
What Cereal Choice Says About Your Parenting Style
A recent report says the worst cereals for kids are the ones most heavily marketed. That’s just more nonsense from the parent puss club. Seriously, what does ‘worst’ really mean? These cereals give kids enough energy to dash to the bus stop, but are scientifically formulated to help crash their energy when they’re in the [...]
Meet the Sampas
Welcome mothers, fathers, and kids to the Sampa family blog.
Sampa is our family name. We’re a possibly inbred, definitely certifiable family from New Jersey. This blog for imperfect parents. Three things you won’t find here: Gross pictures of babies eating spaghetti (not cute), martyr mom rants (no one cares how tired you are), and anything [...]